Me being - involved in a emotional warfare.

Sometimes it still haunts me. feelings that i thought were drowned and buried.
but it still comes back and it hits me so hard. like when u run into a wall while sprinting at 60miles/hr.

I do not understand sometimes. what are your plans for me. you took away something that meant so much. and oh yea it sure hurt a whole lot. but i chose to stay. i chose to hold on.
i still tell you i love you O'Lord. i really do.

ur love is supposed to be enough, then why is it this feeling of losing that someone still hurt so badly?

As i listen to 'Saviour King' by Hillsongs, it just touches me so emotionally. haha.
ever felt sad but too tired to cry? cos thats how i feel.

i pray for strength. i'm so tired that i just seem like i cant carry on anymore.
O Lord, i feel so dispensable. the way i was treated. i just cant help but ask, what am i doing here?
because it feels so superficial. and i'm so disturbed at how somethings are going on. feeling so out of place.
but what does it matter? nobody bothers.

i get this restlessness in me.
this thought of just giving up and lie down not doing anything.

how i wish.
2 years, i told you. i want to give my heart to you during this 2 years.

O'King, pls be my rock. be my provider O'Lord. for your love alone is sufficient.
be my provider O'Lord, as i lay my faith on you.