Me being - blessed (and relieved)

hey yall.

i'm back from camp. and to be honest, it wasnt as bad as i perceived it to be.
and i want to thank God for being there for me.
but i dont think i wanna do it so regularly. the camp that is.



i'm quite burnt up. haha. i feel like i'm still wearing a skintight t-shirt everytime after i take off my clothes.
its kinda hilarious.
but sitting down on this chair and typing on the keyboard and looking at the screen,

i feel at home. a feeling that i miss alot. i dont know how to explain this but, it just feels so peaceful. so wonderful.

it feels like i'm experiencing a very quiet and connected time with God. even as i type. i do not know how to explain this. but this is how it feels.

indeed God is brilliant. He walked me through this week so closely. its as though He's holding on to my hand as we cross a junction full of vehicles moving to and fro. the mighty hand of God, used to hold on to my tiny hand. how amazing is that.

sometimes when i think back, i feel so ashamed of myself. God has made my life so good and yet at times i still choose to complain. as though i'll never be satisfied.
and He will still be there to forgive me. He will still be there being patient with me and entertain me.
This is how marvelous our Lord God Jesus is.
The man who died on the cross, and came back to life on the 3rd day. He who was prosecuted by us is here ready to rescue us.

How wonderful is that.

Me being - dreadful of this coming week.

even as this week is only beginning, i'm looking forward to friday already.
thats because this is going to be a very hectic week. and with so many stuff going on. sometimes i'll just stand down there and stone. letting my pentium 2, 200mgh brain process everything.

haha.
sometimes i just want to make sure everything's alright that i end up screwing them up.
how ironic right?

i missed church today, and it was not really good feeling.
as a matter of fact, i dislike this feeling alot alot alot!!!!
argh.

i'm not going to do it again, unless i have duty that is.
i wouldnt wanna miss church for anything. lol.
especially during this phase of my life, while i'm so busy with serving the nation. i just dont have the kind of time i use to have where i can visit the church anytime, any day.

those were the days.

anyways people, i really need your prayers for this week.
as my role of an instructor is going to begin in 3 weeks. (i'm starting my first actual course)
i really pray that things will go smoothly as i prepare all the admin stuff for the course.
i'm a instructor's instructor btw. that is, i'm kinda in-charge of this course for civil defense where i'll take officers and NsF who'll go through this course to equip them with skills to be an instructor. the course is called IPC (instructor prep course) :D.

that'll be for monday and tuesday. then i have guard duty on tuesday night!! gosh.
thats not all.

on wednesday, i've to leave straight from my guard area and rush off to changi village as there's a camp going on from wednesday to friday (3D2N).
how silly of me to have accept this task. imagine me taking off and leave to work elsewhere.
(btw, to me, its not really honoring God if u're serving the nation and working part time, cos God did ask us to obey the higher authority. and this camp thing was due to some complicated issues)

anyways, thats not more.
i'm in-charge of the logistics.
which means that whether or not the camp moves smoothly, its all resting on my shoulders.

and i'm so worried that i might screw things up here and there.

man.... i really dread this week.
already looking forward to friday lor.
people, pls keep me in prayers.
especially for prayers for me to have some time to do qt with God.
thanks in advance.
BLESSED WEEK!!

Me being - faithless

How would you feel when someone doesnt have faith in u?
what if that someone is someone close to u?

i think i'm starting to know how it feels.
with whats been happening around me recently.
its all sorts of mixed 'blue' emotions.

the disappointment, the anguish, the helplessness.
all packed into one and trapped inside of u.

and if u feel that way, what about God?
especially for believers.

you pray, and you tell God, "God, you're my Lord, you're my king, my saviour, God you are a Father to me."

and you remain faithless.
if you're wondering how it feels,
its all the 'blue' feelings all packed into one. multiply it by hundreds or thousand times. maybe even more.

and that is how He feels.

so Brothers and Sisters in Christ, it is really my prayer that u remain faithful to God. to tell Him,"Father, i'm faithful. and no matter what comes, i know they are all from Your hands. and i thank you."

Me being - rebuking and rebuked

HOW FAITHLESS YOU ARE!!

this is the line i'm always tempted to say to those who are faithless and pesimistic.
if you know God, and if you truely believe in Him, why are you still feeling this way?

why do you look down on God's power?
who do you think God is?
do you really think that He doesnt care at all?

God's power is so strong, so mighty. yet when it comes to those little little details, He's still able to be so precise and can define the smallest of things.
His power's perfect. PERFECT i tell you.


yet at the same time, it is something that i struggle with.
haha.
its so ironic but true.
especially this week, things just didnt feel right and i feel like i'm starting to lose faith and doubt Him again.
i know all the things i've said up there. all so clearly. yet sometimes emotions just covers them up altogether.

i'm still feeling kinda blue. and its so random.
because nothing really big happened that caused me to feel like this.

i'm still meditating on in.
still spending time with God.
trying to unwrap this unhappy emotion around my spiritual being.
to tear it away from the Holy Spirit.

i know that He is there.
i know that He knows how i feel.
but why i'm feeling like this, i know that He is letting me go throught it for a reason.
a reason that i've yet to know.

so, you faithless people. isnt it time to strengthen ur faith?

Me being - Money-minded

Money, how much do they mean to u?

do u really need money?
or do u just love money?
would u do anything for it?


i believe that its something that all of us struggle with.
i know i use to.
maybe now at times i still want more.

more than what God has provided.

and so what if i got it?
in the end, i feel like sin is consuming me spiritually. slowly but surely.
and ultimately, so what if u've got money?
i dont know about u, but i know that i feel hollow inside.


people, let me ask u, what do u need most in life?

money?
have u ever thought about ur after life?
does this amount of money follow u when u leave earth? when u leave this body of urs?

have u ever thought about it, what if u strike 4D today or toto, then u die tomorrow?
ironic isnt it?
but it happens.

then maybe some of u will want to ask me,
so, what is it in life that we should regard as most important?

i'd say to worship and honor our Lord God Jesus Christ.
maybe u'd say that i'm biased, why not alah or the buddah or something?
why do i say that Jesus Christ is the one true God?

then i do have got some questions for u people,
1. which other god died for us?
2. which other god is willing to come down to our level to share a meal with us?
3. if u say that Jesus is just a prophet, have u ever read the new testimont in the bible clearly?

if He was just a prophet and nothing else, then why is it u still choose to follow the old testimont for some of u other religion?

and when u say u worship God, when u say that u love God,
why do u still choose to worship something earthly, like say,
money?

think about it.