Me being - thankful

so, it goes like this.
boy meets girl. boy likes girl. boy asks girl out.

okay, haha. that was random.

anyways. life's been rough lately. not the ideal kind of life u would wish to have.
so so busy. no time to stop to take a breath.

really thank God for this Good Friday break. cos i was able to wake up at 1pm yesterday!!
PRAISE GOD!
i slept like 12 hours. it was real good rest. but i still feel worn.
well, Father, i'd be looking forward to the next time u let me sleep long hours again.
weee.

yea. tmr's work day again. kinda dread it. in a way.
there just seem to be so many things to do.
so so so many!!
courses after courses. paper work after paper work.
and having the kind of colleagues around me isnt really helping much.
dont really wanna bombard them in front of the whole world.

if u wanna know just ask me personally and i'll tell u.
haha.

yea. but i still look forward to the week. to see how God work His wonders in me, with me and around me.

yup.
off to doing QT now. ciao. :)

Me being - involved in a emotional warfare.

Sometimes it still haunts me. feelings that i thought were drowned and buried.
but it still comes back and it hits me so hard. like when u run into a wall while sprinting at 60miles/hr.

I do not understand sometimes. what are your plans for me. you took away something that meant so much. and oh yea it sure hurt a whole lot. but i chose to stay. i chose to hold on.
i still tell you i love you O'Lord. i really do.

ur love is supposed to be enough, then why is it this feeling of losing that someone still hurt so badly?

As i listen to 'Saviour King' by Hillsongs, it just touches me so emotionally. haha.
ever felt sad but too tired to cry? cos thats how i feel.

i pray for strength. i'm so tired that i just seem like i cant carry on anymore.
O Lord, i feel so dispensable. the way i was treated. i just cant help but ask, what am i doing here?
because it feels so superficial. and i'm so disturbed at how somethings are going on. feeling so out of place.
but what does it matter? nobody bothers.

i get this restlessness in me.
this thought of just giving up and lie down not doing anything.

how i wish.
2 years, i told you. i want to give my heart to you during this 2 years.

O'King, pls be my rock. be my provider O'Lord. for your love alone is sufficient.
be my provider O'Lord, as i lay my faith on you.

Me being - delighted through troubled times

Recently, i feel that God has thrown me into a dumpster. haha.
not trying to say that He does not care or that He looks at me as though i'm like s#it.

but it does feel that way. i aint complaining though
just that sometimes i feel alittle overwhelmed by the things going on.

have not been able to rest after the camp. the weekends seemed so short and the week has started again.
time really doesnt wait for anyone huh.

a roll of an eye and i'm nearly one year with AMKPC!!!
YEAY!!
okay i'll talk about it alittle later. now, about my week first.

this week has been in a rather fast tempo. had guard duty on monday. and through the week i have to start preparing for a course which is starting next week. gosh.
hadnt really slept well since monday. today's wednesday. i didnt read the Bible the last 2 days, so i owe myself extra chapters. hohoho.
man, i owe myself time for rest as well. then there's night training tomorrow night.
ahhh!!

and not forgetting MAS SELAMAT!!! this guy's a whole load of trouble. really pray that he'll be caught soon. causing such a national uproar due to his absense.
plus. rumours are that civil defense are going to increase the number of people doing guard duty, and it spells trouble. cos it means more guard duty.
feeling kinda stressed out even as i'm typing this.
BUT... He is there and will always be here for me.
:D
thats heartwarming enough.

looking forward to this friday.
finally having CG again!! yeay.
its been so so so long. and it really feels like something's missing for so so so long.
really pray that this friday during cg, we'll be deeply enriched by word. to refill me spiritually!!

and also. come next 1st April will be my first year in AMKPC!!
it has been a very eventful year. alot of emotional ups and downs.
alot of growing physically and more importantly spiritually.
i really thank God and pray that He'll continue guiding me with my journey with Him.
How wonderful. How marvelous.

well. with my first year of christianhood coming to an end, i'm looking forward to this coming eventful year with God.