Me being - imaginative.

I-M-A-G-I-N-A-T-I-O-N

its a very big word aint it. its such a powerful thing.
look at how the world has moved. how the world have progressed through the years with the slightest spark of IMAGINATION.

haha, its funny because when i think about this word, i'll always think of Spongebob and Patrick inside the box where they let their 'IMAGINATION' run wild.

and the internet's a very practical example of a human's mind.
it can lead you anywhere. get you any information u yearn.

whatever you are looking for, the latest movies, the latest buzz.
latest sports score.

its so wonderful isnt it?

and yet if we abuse it. look at how bad it can lead us.
take a look at this metaphor i'm going to drawing.

you're surfing the web when an icon pop up leading you to x-rated sites.
you clicked on it and tons of pop-ups appear.
you try to close them to no avail because when u close 1 another will come up.
as your last resort, you switched off the main power switch and restart your computer.

to your horror, the whole system crashed the moment you enter your desktop.

just 1 click, and it leads to such a disasterous outcome.


well, haha. that was pretty dramatic but things like this do happen.
during service yesterday, Reverend Abel Thomas was preaching about sins.
and its just so real.
this is what he said," sin is like a bite from a snake. just one small bite, and it'll spread the poison throughout your body and you'll eventually die "

so how has my starting of 'IMAGINATION' led to this thing about sin u might wonder.
i just would like to point out to all (including myself) that imagination is really a powerful tool that God had given us.
but if we abuse it, if we misuse it for sinful things. it'll be like poison passing through our body.
and i believe that sin begins from the head. (feelings to an extent also)

an alcoholic think of drinking, and eventually he'll be binge drinking.
a drug addict think of getting high and eventually he'll be jabbing himself with needles or taking pills.
an average man think of sexy ladies and he'll end up in a porn site or even worse he goes looking for prostitutes to satisfy his sexual lust.


guess this is the reason why i need God.
because i know that with this imagination and without Him, i'll be sinning deeper and deeper.
a friend shared with me today, the teachings from the Bible without Jesus will just be a book teaching us about the high moral standards we should keep.
which is why the relationship we have with Him is what counts most.

Me being - screwed by the uniform.

I WANT TO ORD!!!

the regimentations, the abuse of power.

getting to face a charge anytime anywhere. its as scary as it gets.
signing extras anytime an officer feels like giving u one.

uniform life's pretty screwed up isnt it?

living in fear of getting picked out for a silly minor offences.
old officers who thinks that they know everything.
old officers are those who dawn on a streak of moustache between their nose and upper lip.

haha.

sometimes i just feel that i'm just terribly unlucky.
trying to work hard and yet still getting pin-pointed.
offending officers just because they dont like me.

work has been a struggle and i have be on my toes all the time.
just when things seem to settle down on this side, another thing happen on the other.
man.

sometimes i just feel that God's in this.
all of this.
letting me go through this for a reason of His own.

and if its for His reasons, why not?

Me being - in a pretty screwed up situation

haha.
just look at that!!

the downhill tumble of me through the whole of last week.

-on monday i took my driving test.
and i passed!! i was so happy. so elated.
i wanted to tell everyone about it.

-on tuesday, in the morning. i was sitting in the office minding my own business and was scolded by my captain.
well, perhaps its due to my ignorance or what. but apparantly i was supposed to be downstairs inside the classroom looking after the trainees instead.
well. that just spoilt my entire day.
and it killed the atmosphere of my passing of my driving test.
it sure did.

-wednesday was quite alright.

-thursday, i was almost charged in the office because i missed out on rept.
rept's some time keeper thing that nsfs are assigned to do sometimes.
that one was not that bad because i believe i have substantial reason to escape the charges.

(then came thursday's night training.)

it was one faithful night at hougang mrt station. i had to miss out on a birthday celebration with a friend because of night training.
i reached the station at around 12 mid night. but did not report to my captain who was waiting downstairs.
well. i was arranging the food that was brought over to the station and my senior, well. he said that we'll just wait for someone to call before we go down to report.
and what a great idea it was!!

we went down and my captain was pretty pissed off already.
then okay, thats not all.
we forgot to bring some safety vests and some equipments for training that night.
BAM!! thats it, my captain snapped.
through out the training he was in such a foul mood.
ignoring me as i ran his other minor errands.

okay. then training ended.
he "summoned" me and my senior over and were being scolded like nobody's business. with his spit flying all over the place.
yup. then came the judgement.
he said that he's going to charge us by sending us into the detention barracks.
and that sums up my entire week.

well, it destroyed my long weekend. it really did.
to think that when i report to work on tuesday, i'm definitely going to get charged.
i'm not going through a fantastic time right now.

and any prayer i can get is appreciated.
haha.
all i can do is force a smile and pretend that nothing's gonna happen.
how did things turn out so bad.

when i was sharing with srimal on friday how my whole week went.
he shared with me how David went through his trying period.
he's life was at stake. Saul was after his life.
yet God delivered. not only David was saved, he became king.

in God i hold my faith in.
in God whom i trust.
any persecutions i'm about to face, i pray that i'm ready to do it with Him.

Me being - a driver soon (hopefully)

it has been too long a ride. i just pray for it to finish soon.

its so tiring to juggle work, ministry and learning driving at the same time.
what's worse is that i'm only one test away from getting my driving license.

and tomorrow's the faithful day where i get the chance to take the test again.
not trying to think so much. just hoping that the route will be a short and simple one. plus no screw ups in the circuit.
haha.

i've flunked twice and tmr will be the third. anything more than 3 times is really very embarrassing. especially me being a guy. who's supposed to find practical things easier.
or so the stereotype points toward.

anyways really am crossing my fingers now. hoping to be a driver by 13 may 2008.
wahahaha.
and one day look back at tomorrow and thank God for it.

Me being - pressed with expectations

money money and more money.
i just dont dig this.

its just too sad a life to be living for money. and i realise how sad people around me are living their life. its so pathetic.
really.

u dont get the kind of enjoyment everytime u work. u worry about not having enough with u're at home. u are stressed over it all the time even when u sleep.

what's the deal with it anyways. bullshit.

and being the eldest doesnt help one bit at all.
with all the expectations pressing down on me.
i want to get another diploma, or a degree.

but what its already laid out for me to grad from poly and start working 5 years from now.
don't i get a say in this?
do i have be in a situation where i juggle with work and studies at the same time?

i dont wish to be in that situation.
but what say do i have in this.

i'm expected to be paying for the house 5 years from now. ya, maybe pay with a job that pays 5/hr. that helps alot doesnt it!

maybe its time to grow up. time for me to start paying for ur bills and taxes.
and perhaps i'll do it.
oh yea. i will.
but i really dont see me being part of this money-minded household.

Me being - full of expectations

expectations.
sometimes that i struggle with, especially when i pray to God.

expecting things to happen.
but is that what we should do when we pray?

God created us, He's here even before the beginning of time. He created our forefathers from centuries/milleniums ago.

He, of all people should know best. so why should we still expect?
for He shall provide for us what's best for us.
He's our Lord God. remember?
kept that in mind?

sometimes for me, it still hasnt.
especially when emotions sets in. i pray about something with expectations.
i pray about something with a target already in mind.

and God doesnt work this way.
when we pray, we should still embrace God's will. not our will.

its hard. especially if its something that's an issue. specially if its something that you really want to happen.

i'm an introvert. especially when it comes to groups. i just dont seem to be able to express myself the way i want to.
thats why i'm usually quiet. unless i'm totally comfortable with the group.
unless i know u well, and u know me as well.

Jesus. so glorious you are. so beautiful.
i apologise for feeling this way time and time again.
sometimes i just wish to have this authority to stand between 'hh' and everyone else and push them away. snapping at them to back off.
what's this crazy feeling?
is it jealousy. perhaps...
please take this feeling away. because its really affecting how i should be growing in u.
i'm just so shrouded with so many things i dont need this as an extra distraction from you.
evermore the King above all.
i feel that i destroyed a wonderful and spiritual day with you. by feeling how i'm feeling now at this moment.
i try to escape, but it contradicts my prayers to u.
please Father, please provide me with a way out.
on how i should feel. on how i should act.
why am i feeling like this after praying and promising you that i'd stay away from silly relationships for at least 2 years?
until my family comes to believe in you, i do not want to let someone else into my heart.
there's just so much to do.
its best if i have the gift of celibacy aint it Lord?
this way i can give u my all. with no one to share my heart with.
being able to give you my entire heart.
let Your will be done.
Yours. not mine.

Me being - faithful.

'Let me explain theproblem science has with Jesus Christ.'

The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. 'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir,' the student says.

'So you believe inGod?'

'Absolutely.'

'Is God good?'

'Sure! God's good.'

'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'

'Yes.'

'Are you good or evil?'

'The Bible says I'm evil.'

The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!'
He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'

'Yes sir, I would.'

'So you're good...!'

'I wouldn't say that.'

'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'

The student does not answer, so the professor continues.
'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'

The student remains silent.

'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.
'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'

'Er...yes,' the student says.

'Is Satan good?'

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'

'Then where does Satan come from?'

The student : 'From...God..'

'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'

'Yes.'

'So who created evil?'
The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'
Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues: 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'

The student: 'Yes.'

'So who created them?' The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?

There is still no answer.
Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.
'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'

The student's voice is confident: 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'

'No sir. I've never seen Him.'

'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'

'No, sir, I have not.'

'Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelled your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'

'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

'Yet you still believe in him?'

'Yes.'

'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'

'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'

'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. 'Professor, is there such a thing as heat?'

'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'

'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there's cold too.'

'No sir, there isn't.' The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested.
The room suddenly becomes very quiet.

The student begins to explain. 'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest-458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.
'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'

'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation.

'What is night if it isn't darkness?'

'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'

'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'
'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'

'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'

'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.'

'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?' The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided. 'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'
The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?'

The class breaks out into laughter. 'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt theprofessor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir. So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally, after what seems an eternity,the old man answers. 'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.'

'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'

Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'

To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'

The professor sat down.


if you've seen the ugly side of life, or if u feel that what's going on in your life filled with so much 'evil'. why dont u try knowing Him?

i guareentee that it'll be a life changing experience.
God's Bless. ;)