Me being - Given the second chance

its not just an ordinary chance. its not an ordinary mistake also.

its when we sin and were forgiven by the Almighty.
and recently i'm starting to see how it feels to give people second chances as well.

on one side, most people judge others by their looks, i would say that its very natural to be like that.

and i admit to being one of them people who judge people on their looks, 'first impression'.
and sometimes that person ends up being the most laughed at person in that group.

but recently i've tried to give that person a fighting chance.
i talked to them and learned more about them.
and realised that they are not that bad after all.

God did say to love your neighbour like how you love yourself and i found out why.
its really pointless hating someone else. because hatred grows and thats what the evil one wants.

look at the world around you, is it easier to do wrong things than those that are right?
what is your wrong/right ratio?
you ever measured it? you ever thought about it?

if your answer's no i believe that its time to start reflecting on it.
i'm saying all this not because i'm perfect. because if you must know, i sin more than i follow as well.
God's there to forgive me, but will i take advantage of it? thats the question i ask myself everytime i'm struggling with sin.
therefore we all should look towards repentence.

If God loves you, why do you not want to love Him back.

Me being - Christian guy, holding on.

Its hard. very hard. with an environment like mine. everyone's cursing and swearing, its like a trend.

i dont go all the way to the cbs or the f's but still its not good.
what's inside is more deadly than the outside.

having bad language will just show how a rotten christian i am.
having bad thoughts is as bad as committing the thought itself.

last week till PoP. four more days.
holding on still.
i've been lazy, have not been journelling, not been doing quiet time.
really want to start again.
want to be good in His eyes.
want to be a good testimonial for Him.

so God i pray that there'll be someway for You to help me, rescue me from all this.
i really wanna be good in Your eyes, really want to quit these bad habits.

anyways it has been a enjoyable 6 weeks or BRT. i know that God's been there looking over me all this while and i thank Him.
to just know that He's there makes my heart happy.

just wanna focus on Him this 2 years.

Me being - in my last day of boyhood.

well. today didnt start off very well.
as a matter of fact i didnt had a very great sunday as well.

thats not the point.
no point dwelling in troubles and problems one would say.

anyways. what i did was just some packing up of things and some last minute prep.
packing and stuff.

i didnt write in my journel yesterday. i was so confused and angry with God.
i never understood Him sometimes when He do what He do.
yet i'd be lying if i said that i hate Him.
in fact i love Him. and i'm starting to understand how He feels when we betray Him and do as we please with sins and everything.
because what i've been through i know how it feels to love and not be loved back.
which is how God feels.
just multiply it by gazillions and u can see how much pain He is suffering.
yesterday i tripped.
but i pray that as i go through my day today, God will forgive me and that He'll make things easy for my heart to take.
I dont really wanna go in feeling depressed and stuff.
haha. picture this: a bald, mucho dark emotional guy.
yuck.

anyways, for those who are reading this entry, i thank you for taking ur time.
i pray that you people will stop hurting God.
adious

Me being - the eldest in the family

yup. i have 2 younger brothers but actually thats not what i wanna talk about.
i'm going to NS in one week and one day's time.

i'm not hyped up for it. neither am i feeling scared about it.
i'm just. Ok lor.

haha.
guess it'll be like going for a camp with hundreds of other guys.
all without hair.
and the good thing is i'm going to be paid a couple hundred dollars a month.
the most since i worked full time at a restaurant once where i earned 800 bucks plus 200 CPF. haha.

so yea. guys if you wanna see me at my best looking state, u better ask me out this week. haha.
call me.

Me being - caught between the Montagues and Capulets

The Montagues and Capulets.

The story of Romeo and Juliet. A story where 2 crazily in love people have to go seperate ways because of family problems which was long forgotten.



honestly, i find the story bullshit.

i just hate it. why must the children suffer because of stupid family fueds?

why must it end up being the two madly in love people dying because they cant be together due to family objection?



i dont understand it. and i hate it.

stupid how things go doesnt it?



think about it.



its so crazy. try relating it to ur life people.

if your parents, or ur other half's parents were like the Montagues or Capulets what will you do?

haha. what if the Montagues and Capulets are friends? but the Caps dont want their kid to marry to the Monts? and threatens to severe family ties?
what if you're the Montague kid? what would you do?
what if you were the Capulet kid? what would you do?

sometimes it just makes me sick that parents think of their pride more than their kid.
sometimes because they do not like the other party's family.
isnt it like this in Romeo and Juliet?

but people, what would you do? if you were either Romeo or Juliet?
would you have died for the other party?

kinda stupid right?
this kind of love.
i love you so much that i will die for you.
have you ever wondered if its worth it?
whole load of bullshit.

Me being - guy who do not know himself.

well, it has been a very rough patch for me.
it has been going on for the longest time. i've just been very messed up as a person.
very messed up emotionally also.

and the past few days hasnt helped at all. had a bit of a cold war and misunderstanding between me and my mum.
but things been settled now.
sometimes i just dont understand myself anymore.
maybe we weren't made to do that?

basically i feel that a person is created to honor their parents, their creator.
isnt that true?
i mean, without them where do we get our life?
right?

yea, well for the time being its just finding me myself again.
haha, when i read back on what i've blogged, it seems so emo so depressing.
well. time to add in the sunshine. :)

let go and let God.
this is what i've learnt.

Me being - a man full of weaknesses.

guess i've never been a talker.
just thinking and making up things up in my head.

i dont know why, but i find it rather hard to express myself. and i end up expressing them through letters and smses.

i find myself pathetic.
and full of irony.

and at most parts, ending up hurting those that i cared for.

i feel so horrible. when things seem to be turning for the better, i'd just say and do the wrong things and everything just turned for the worst.

the worse part was how could i hurt her when she's already have enough problem?
in the end, i'm a hindrance.
and looking back, it has always been this way.

dennis = a hindrance.

i'm so sorry. yet no matter how much i apologise, it'll never help.
i wanted to be friends with common topics again. yet, after what i've done, it seemed like it wont happen awhile again.

hey there,
i know that u seldom read my blog. in fact u've only read it once.
but i just want u to know how sorry i am. the things u said did not register inside which was why i did what i did. now everythings clear.
and i just wanna tell u i am sorry.

i dont know if it will ever happen again. but if it does. i dont want it to happen to u again.
i feel that i am dangerous emotionally.
which was why i wanted to run away.
i really dont wanna hurt u again.
sorry.

den