Me being - moulded

i wanna learn to thank you each day. no matter what happens. no matter what is being thrown in my way. i thank you.
because u see what lies ahead. and you know that it is for the best.
so i wanna learn to embrace it and not complain so much.

things have not been the best times of my life.
but i aint complaining no more.
instead, i'm learning to take it step by step. to see the greater picture being revealed.

my heart's been caught.
and its pacing so quickly.
please tell me how should handle this situation i've gotten myself into.
should i stay, or should i just let go?
teach me.

mould me.
mould me like clay. mould me into an exquisite art piece.
mould me into a man of ur heart.

i'm crying out to u.
please do not turn your head away.
please hold me in ur arms and whisper into my ears these words," do not fear for i am here "
hold me tightly, letting me know that i am not alone.
let me feel ur embrace.

Me being - a purpose driven son

He fell to his knees, cried out loud, tore his clothes and shaved all the hair on his body.

I've completed my 40 days discipleship training. i took alittle longer than 40 days though.
haha. but that's besides the point.

it has been pretty rough, this 40 days.
i know that Satan has been trying hard to stop me, always helping me find excuses like tired, lazy or even using my psp to tempt me when i'm preparing myself for the day's lesson.

oh well. i feel kinda relieved that i've finally completed the book, and i really encourage everyone to go through this discipleship training.

just give Him 40 days of your time and grow in Him.

lessons being taught are those that i'll pass on to my disciplers in future.
so, what's next?

Srimal passed me this book 2 months back, the time when i was persecuted at work.
nearly went into DB due to carelessness. (well, thats besides the point)

yea, i'd probably start on it this coming week.
eventhough its tiring and stuff reading. and reading not being the things that Dennis would do.
but i know that this is the time where i am able to grow in the Lord the most.
NS is really a very difficult time for me. but its a process God wants me to go through, and hopefully before i know it, it'll finish.

i've been serving for nearly 9 months now. the longest amount of time i 'work for a company'.
but i'm still learning to take things step by step. not wanting to stress myself out too much.

the end of this week will mark the start of my 10th month serving. woohoo?
haha. premature counting down.

do pray for me.

Me being - on a one way road to meet Him

one life, live it.

this should be the catch phrase of all believers in Christ.
why stress? :D

we live for Him and for Him only.

i've been pretty stressed out recently. working under temperamental regulars who would burst out at you for any mistakes you make.

sometimes i feel so spiritually deserted at work.

i mean, i've been trying so hard to do what i can at work.
trying to be a good worker, yet i'm so paranoid with what could happen.
so afraid of making mistakes.

sometimes i feel that being scolded is starting to become a weekly thing.
but i'm still trying to do my best.
trying to meet their requirements.

not doing it for them.
but i just want to be cooperative for God.
see how He can work in my life through this situation.
if He's happy, i'm satisfied.

so i should just live my life without any worries anymore.

Me being - imaginative.

I-M-A-G-I-N-A-T-I-O-N

its a very big word aint it. its such a powerful thing.
look at how the world has moved. how the world have progressed through the years with the slightest spark of IMAGINATION.

haha, its funny because when i think about this word, i'll always think of Spongebob and Patrick inside the box where they let their 'IMAGINATION' run wild.

and the internet's a very practical example of a human's mind.
it can lead you anywhere. get you any information u yearn.

whatever you are looking for, the latest movies, the latest buzz.
latest sports score.

its so wonderful isnt it?

and yet if we abuse it. look at how bad it can lead us.
take a look at this metaphor i'm going to drawing.

you're surfing the web when an icon pop up leading you to x-rated sites.
you clicked on it and tons of pop-ups appear.
you try to close them to no avail because when u close 1 another will come up.
as your last resort, you switched off the main power switch and restart your computer.

to your horror, the whole system crashed the moment you enter your desktop.

just 1 click, and it leads to such a disasterous outcome.


well, haha. that was pretty dramatic but things like this do happen.
during service yesterday, Reverend Abel Thomas was preaching about sins.
and its just so real.
this is what he said," sin is like a bite from a snake. just one small bite, and it'll spread the poison throughout your body and you'll eventually die "

so how has my starting of 'IMAGINATION' led to this thing about sin u might wonder.
i just would like to point out to all (including myself) that imagination is really a powerful tool that God had given us.
but if we abuse it, if we misuse it for sinful things. it'll be like poison passing through our body.
and i believe that sin begins from the head. (feelings to an extent also)

an alcoholic think of drinking, and eventually he'll be binge drinking.
a drug addict think of getting high and eventually he'll be jabbing himself with needles or taking pills.
an average man think of sexy ladies and he'll end up in a porn site or even worse he goes looking for prostitutes to satisfy his sexual lust.


guess this is the reason why i need God.
because i know that with this imagination and without Him, i'll be sinning deeper and deeper.
a friend shared with me today, the teachings from the Bible without Jesus will just be a book teaching us about the high moral standards we should keep.
which is why the relationship we have with Him is what counts most.

Me being - screwed by the uniform.

I WANT TO ORD!!!

the regimentations, the abuse of power.

getting to face a charge anytime anywhere. its as scary as it gets.
signing extras anytime an officer feels like giving u one.

uniform life's pretty screwed up isnt it?

living in fear of getting picked out for a silly minor offences.
old officers who thinks that they know everything.
old officers are those who dawn on a streak of moustache between their nose and upper lip.

haha.

sometimes i just feel that i'm just terribly unlucky.
trying to work hard and yet still getting pin-pointed.
offending officers just because they dont like me.

work has been a struggle and i have be on my toes all the time.
just when things seem to settle down on this side, another thing happen on the other.
man.

sometimes i just feel that God's in this.
all of this.
letting me go through this for a reason of His own.

and if its for His reasons, why not?

Me being - in a pretty screwed up situation

haha.
just look at that!!

the downhill tumble of me through the whole of last week.

-on monday i took my driving test.
and i passed!! i was so happy. so elated.
i wanted to tell everyone about it.

-on tuesday, in the morning. i was sitting in the office minding my own business and was scolded by my captain.
well, perhaps its due to my ignorance or what. but apparantly i was supposed to be downstairs inside the classroom looking after the trainees instead.
well. that just spoilt my entire day.
and it killed the atmosphere of my passing of my driving test.
it sure did.

-wednesday was quite alright.

-thursday, i was almost charged in the office because i missed out on rept.
rept's some time keeper thing that nsfs are assigned to do sometimes.
that one was not that bad because i believe i have substantial reason to escape the charges.

(then came thursday's night training.)

it was one faithful night at hougang mrt station. i had to miss out on a birthday celebration with a friend because of night training.
i reached the station at around 12 mid night. but did not report to my captain who was waiting downstairs.
well. i was arranging the food that was brought over to the station and my senior, well. he said that we'll just wait for someone to call before we go down to report.
and what a great idea it was!!

we went down and my captain was pretty pissed off already.
then okay, thats not all.
we forgot to bring some safety vests and some equipments for training that night.
BAM!! thats it, my captain snapped.
through out the training he was in such a foul mood.
ignoring me as i ran his other minor errands.

okay. then training ended.
he "summoned" me and my senior over and were being scolded like nobody's business. with his spit flying all over the place.
yup. then came the judgement.
he said that he's going to charge us by sending us into the detention barracks.
and that sums up my entire week.

well, it destroyed my long weekend. it really did.
to think that when i report to work on tuesday, i'm definitely going to get charged.
i'm not going through a fantastic time right now.

and any prayer i can get is appreciated.
haha.
all i can do is force a smile and pretend that nothing's gonna happen.
how did things turn out so bad.

when i was sharing with srimal on friday how my whole week went.
he shared with me how David went through his trying period.
he's life was at stake. Saul was after his life.
yet God delivered. not only David was saved, he became king.

in God i hold my faith in.
in God whom i trust.
any persecutions i'm about to face, i pray that i'm ready to do it with Him.

Me being - a driver soon (hopefully)

it has been too long a ride. i just pray for it to finish soon.

its so tiring to juggle work, ministry and learning driving at the same time.
what's worse is that i'm only one test away from getting my driving license.

and tomorrow's the faithful day where i get the chance to take the test again.
not trying to think so much. just hoping that the route will be a short and simple one. plus no screw ups in the circuit.
haha.

i've flunked twice and tmr will be the third. anything more than 3 times is really very embarrassing. especially me being a guy. who's supposed to find practical things easier.
or so the stereotype points toward.

anyways really am crossing my fingers now. hoping to be a driver by 13 may 2008.
wahahaha.
and one day look back at tomorrow and thank God for it.